Saturday, March 24, 2012


In just a few weeks I will be moving off the Lake Shore.
-I have been here month-wise more than I was in Manhattan for College (24 total months vs. 28 months)
-It has been my most permanent address since my parent's house

It is always hard to move from one season to another. When I graduated college, I cried on the way back to Kansas City because I knew that that season of my life was over. This cabana-living, island-themed season of my life means so much more to me than college did. (Read: i will be a hot mess when I close this chapter of my life)

This weekend is leadership weekend for kamp. As you know, I stepped down from leadership and will not returning to kamp. I've been great with it because I have an incredible director who is letting me work Staff training and I am going to Africa for a month.

Last night I picked up my director's kids to hang out with them while meetings were going on. It hit me like a ton of bricks: I am not going back to a place that I love and has become so much of who I am. And in that moment I failed to remember that the Lord has called me somewhere else: Ethiopia.

In that moment I was an Israelite. While they were wandering around the wilderness they wanted to go back to Egypt. Egypt was comfortable and they had food and shelter but they were in bondage and they forgot that they were on their way to the Promise Land!

I am not comparing kamp to being in bondage but it has a piece of my heart that makes it hard to look forward to what is coming up in my life. I was so focused on what I was missing out on that I forgot to look at what I was being called to.

I am going to Ethiopia.
It still doesn't seem real but it is.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Week 1

This marks the 7th day on my 40-day challenge.

I would like to say that the Lord has granted me a great peace within me but it comes and goes with time and circumstances.
On Tuesday, I was so excited about my future and I don't know what I am doing in 3 and a half months.
Then yesterday happened. We are remodeling at Gap and tensions got pretty high and it hit me that the possibility of me working at Gap is my current plan. I freaked. I love working at Gap (most days) but it is not my passion. I have to remind myself that the people are my passion. Gap needs Christ.

As I have been reading through the Psalms, I have been stuck on Psalm 27. I can't get past this beautiful chapter. I am technically meant to be on chapter 45 but I keep rereading chapter 27. It's titled 'A Fearless Trust in God.' Y'all, seriously so good.

Even though I am in a constant battle with my flesh about the next few months I know the the goodness of the Lord will not fail me.

13: I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would have seen the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

40 Day Chaellenge

4o days from now is Tuesday, April 17th.

At that time I will have completed my internship with the Kanakuk Institute, will have moved of the Lake Shore and will have two and a half weeks in my Master's left. During the past few months I have been applying for jobs I have gotten nowhere. At the end of college I was under qualified without a masters and now that I will have one I will be overqualified. I just need one person to take a chance on me so I can prove myself.

I know the Lord is sovereign in this, I know that the right job hasn't come along. I know the Lord will provide. Each day I pray through my fears and anxieties and hand it over to the Lord. And chose to trust Him.

After doing a word study (and google search) on the number 40, I have decided to do a 40 day challenge. The number 40 is mentioned 146 times in the Bible and directly correlates to trials, testing and probation. It is also the product of 5 and 8. The number 5 points to the action of grace and 8 means revival and renewal.

I am stopping the job hunt for 40 days. No more googling jobs, putting in applications or handing random businesses my resume (yes, that has happened). I have 3 applications that I have yet to hear about and IF I hear from them, I will act on them. I am going to focus on this sweet (somewhat scary) time of the unknown, just me and the Lord.

So for the probably 5 of you that still read this, please keep me in your prayers in the next 40 days as I pray for vision and clarity about my next step.

Bring on the next 40 days.