Monday, December 30, 2013

The Weary World Rejoices

2013 was a weary year for me, in all aspects of my life: financially, spiritually, emotionally, physically, professionally, and relationally.  I look back on it glad I traveled the journey but also glad the journey is over for now.  I was hit with trials I felt inadequate to handle, I would get back on my feet only to be knocked down again. I spent a lot of my time questioning what career path I should be on and I spent countless hours crying out to the Lord in frustration.

It seem cliche to reflect on my year as it draws to an end but in scripture the Israelites took time to reflect on what the Lord has done (Joshua 4).  I grew in painful, stretching ways this year.  I lived in a constant state of transition.  I came face to face with the ugly sin in my heart.  I lived paycheck to about 4 days before my paycheck (thank goodness for quinoa).  I watched countless people in my life move to a different life phase while I am still living in this one.   I looked at each the problem and thought of all the ways it couldn't be solved instead of looking at Who could solve my problems.

I spent a lot of my year waiting for a miracle.  I wanted something to happen that would make my pain and trials make sense.  I wanted an instant moment and tangible sign from the Lord that everything would be okay.  I wanted a check to arrive in the mail, or a perfect job offer.  I wanted a miracle I could see.  Instead, I went on a journey that was long and hard, and at times I was filled with hopelessness.

But I would forget: there is a thrill of hope, and the weary world rejoices;

Christ was on the throne, Christ is on the throne, and Christ will always be on the throne.

My miracle has already happened.
I am a living testimony to the Lord's provision.
The devil on his best day did not take me on my worst day.
 I am still here and God is still sovereign.
Christ is still Lord.

A thrill of hope is a simple combination of words but it allows me to continue on in full confidence for 2014.
My hope?
Christ is King.
Christ has already won the battle.

My prayer at the beginning of 2013 was for the Lord to do what He needed to do to grow me closer to Him and in Christ-likeness.  Who am I to negate any situation that a sovereign God brings my way to bring me closer to His presence?  I prayed for 'immeasuribly more' (Eph. 3:20) and the Lord kept His promise, but in ways I didn't expect it.  I wouldn't trade my year.

There are still obstacles facing me in 2014.  I still have trials I am in the midst of right now.  I have bills that need to be paid, tests to be passed, pride and other sins in my heart, uncertainty in my future, and no idea how to fix a fan belt in my car.

But you know what?
"It will all shake out, meanwhile I'm putting up more twinkle lights"*

*Nora Ephron, You've Got Mail