Thursday, January 19, 2012

No Ifs, Ands or Buts

My Summer Home
I am not returning to Kauai this summer.
I can't explain my decision making process because somewhere deep inside me I know that I am not meant to be there this summer.
This creates a problem.

Most people who do not return usually tell their directors "I'm not coming back BUT...(insert some really cool life choice)"
Not this girl.

My conversation went like this:
"I'm not returning to Kauai this summer." End of statement. No ands or buts. I have no plans but I am willing and open for what the Lord does.

It is one of the hardest decisions I have had to make. I am not adding that in for dramatic flair (we all know I love a little drama).

I have been blessed by so many people in my life. When I think about my closest friends they fall into three catorgories: high school, college and kamp (which includes the Institute).
So walking away from a support group, a job I adore and not to mention a steady paycheck, a place to live and food to eat was hard. Nothing compares to the peace that I know comes from the Lord because I have acted on faith and made the right decision.

And I have no plans for when I return from Ethiopia July 4th (tentative date). It is a huge leap of faith and I am slowing coming to terms with the fact that the Lord's way of providing might be working at Gap in Branson this summer (and possibly into the school year). But why should I complain? I will be exactly where I am meant to be. The Lord is not leading me out of Branson just yet. It will be hard to be in Branson while Kauai is going on but I am confident.

My situation reminds me a lot of what my kamp directors a few years ago went through. In April they resigned and did not have a next step. It was months before Will got a job. I remember thinking that I want to display faith like that.
A faith like Abraham who did not want to sacrifice his only son but was willing. And the Lord provided for Abraham, just like He always does.

And now comes the hard part, when I tell families I have known for 4 years, staff that have become like family and my fellow leadership team that has been there for me since day 1.

There are no ifs, ands or buts when it comes to following the Lord. You do what He asks. So here I am, standing at an somewhat open summer and no idea what to do with it.

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