“I don't always knew where this life is going. I can't see the end of the road, but here is the great part: Courage is not about knowing the path. It is about taking the first step. It is about Peter getting out of the boat, stepping out onto the water with complete faith that Jesus will not let him drown.”Katie J. Davis (author of Kisses from Katie)
One of the most terrifying things in the Christian life is to be completely open to the Lord's doing.
There, I said it.
Not a lot of Christian's admit that but I am.
I'm terrified to see what the Lord does in my life in the next 6 months. I also have never been so excited because I can't even begin to paint a picture of what I will be doing in 7 months.
I have always wanted the Lord to lead me wherever He has me. I lived in Kansas City for 19 years, moved to Manhattan, KS for 3 and I have been in Branson, Mo for almost 2 years.
But the fact is, no matter where I am going, I am giving up a life that is comfortable. I am changing my routines, my community and trusting the Lord through it all. And sometimes its hard.
The cost of following Christ is worth it. It is worth the struggle. It is overwhelming to be at the point that I am currently residing. I graduate my masters and May and have no leads on jobs. But I have nothing to hold me back from where the Lord is calling me. I can go anywhere, I can do whatever I want. Too many options is almost as bad as not having any options. The problem is I am constantly navigating a balancing act between the two.
I have 5 weeks to decide whether or not I am returning to kamp. To reference a journal entry from last summer: "This is a season of my life and if it is time for it to close, then so be it. My greatest desire is to bring glory to my Lord and if I can do it better somewhere else then that is where I need to be." (7.24.11)
And with the conviction of the Holy Spirit and scripture and then conviction of that journal entry, I can't quiet that stir in my heart that Ethiopia may be where I spend my entire summer.