Monday, December 3, 2012

to become whole.

Excuse my blog hiatus for the past few months.
Sometimes life happens and you forget to do things that you were so disciplined with once upon a time.

Plus I had some major life events and major life decisions demanding my attention. 
And being an adult is exhausting. 
And let’s be honest, it is football season (Go Wildcats).

But in the midst of the joy, the Lord’s constant faithfulness, and my daily living, my heart still aches for a country that requires 24 hours of travel to step foot on the red dirt.

It has been five months since I stepped foot back on American soil. 
Five months since I have held a child who was fighting malaria. 
It has been five months since I have seen the joy in the chocolate colored eyes of the children. 
Five months. 
It has been five months since my heart has been shattered into a million pieces. 
And yet it takes longer than five months for this heart of mine to heal.

I think the ache in my heart is a permanent ache.  I don’t think I will ever feel whole again.

Isn’t that the point?  To have an ache that nothing can satisfy but the Lord?  To so deeply long for wholeness that you sacrifice every comfort and convenience to follow a God who promises wholeness? A wholeness that only He can provide?  

Nothing in this life is worth it.  Nothing is worth the wholeness that comes with pursuing and knowing the Lord.  Nothing is better than allowing the Lord to take your hurts, your sin, your sheer brokenness and making you a new creation.  We rise because Christ has been raised to life.  We are saved by faith
The ground is level at the foot of the cross and we are no longer in bondage.  We are made whole.

Sitting on this the truth, I am comforted by the words in Revelation 21:4-7
and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” And He *said, “Write, for these words are faithful and true.” Then He said to me, “[It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost. He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son.”

And piece by piece my broken heart is being glued back together again.

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