'How was your trip?' is a dreaded question. Its not that I don't want to tell you about it because I do. I want you to listen as I share each miracle I saw, tell each orphan's story and explain how I have been changed.
I want to tell you about the brokenness, the poverty, the hurt, the pain. I want to tell you that I saw joy, hope and faith.
I just don't know how to put into words what I have experienced and what I am experiencing back in the States. I don't know how to tell you what I feel because I am not sure of what I am feeling. A month in Africa changes a person.
Instead of focusing on the job search, I find myself worrying about Patience and if she went to bed hungry or is Nati's cut on his foot healed. I feel empty when I walk into Target and guilt over the Apple products I own. I find myself tearing up when brushing my teeth with tap water or opening up the fridge that is stocked full of food.
The faces of the children I met have stained my thoughts. It was easy to forget about the orphans when I hadn't met them. Now that I have face with the idea, it has changed me. Isaiah 61 has been deeply implanted into my life.
I don't typically listen to Sara Groves but my trip leader recommend this song to our team. She wrote the song after she returned from a trip to Rwanda. It captures exactly what I'm feeling as vague as the lyrics seem.
"I saw what I saw and I can't forget it.
I heard what I heard and I can't go back
I know what I know and I can't deny it
Something on the road, cut me to the soul
Your pain has changed me
Your dream inspires
Your face a memory
Your hope a fire
Your courage asks me what I'm made of
and what I know of love."
The Lord is in the process of redeeming the world from pain and heartache. I am new on the scene. He has been present all along. I have to trust in that fact.
Your Kingdom come, Your will be done. On earth, as it is in Heaven.