I have been mulling over how exhausted and busy I have been these past few weeks (or months). Almost every night I have had something that has kept me out late or ended with me being mentally drained only to crash on the weekends to start the process again. The last few months I have had to fight for joy on a weekly, sometimes daily basis and I think it has a lot to do with being over-comitted (and under-caffienated) because I have to fight for Christ being the forefront of my life because I have allowed distractions to take priority.
The presence of busyness in my life is the product of a deeper sin. Most likely the desire to please people and my high need for achievement instead of resting in what the Lord says about me. In my life busyness is like a sin. I start out scheduling a fews things a few nights a week which results in me becoming overwhelmed and dreading the daily grind despite the fact I am content and love my life. I vow to make changes and then I fall back into the trap a few weeks later.
I recently read a book by one of my favorite pastors, Kevin DeYoung. He wrote one of my favorite books 'Just Do Something' and he did it again with his book 'Crazy Busy'. Below is a little snippet of one of my best reads of this year.
“I have often marveled to think that Jesus was so terrifically busy, but only with the things he was supposed to do…He was busy, but never in a way that made him frantic, anxious, irritable, proud, envious, or distracted by lesser things…Jesus knew the difference between urgent and important. He understood that all the good things he could do were not necessarily the things he ought to do…Jesus understood his mission. He was not driven by the needs of others, though he often stopped to help hurting people. He was not driven by the approval of others, though he cared deeply for the lost and the broken.”
I was at a friend's house relearning statistics for my teaching exam last week and I always leave her house refreshed (despite the fact I was learning stats) and we talked about the danger of busyness and the importance of establishing margin. I want to be available. I need to be know how to differentiate between urgent and important.
Being busy with good things does not make someone a better Christian or more fruitful. It just means you are busy and more prone to stress, exhaustion, and anxiety.
So to take this problem head on, I stopped saying yes and started saying no. I gave up the idea of running a half marathon in May. I stopped and made a list of top priorities and rearranged my life accordingly. I have created margin. I searched the New Testament and created a belief statement on busyness. Jesus did not fill every need. He did not heal every person. He took time for Himself. So now I have one scheduled evening a week. I cut things out of my life. I have room for intentional coffee dates, spontaneous adventures, times of personal refreshment, and opportunities to serve. Most importantly, I have time to focus on what I have been called to do.
Being busy had put my heart and joy in danger. Dangers that I probably would not even have time to consider. The great Counselor and great Physician is in the process of healing my overscheduled, exhausted soul. So daily I pray through what healing looks like. I pray for discernment to know the difference in urgent and important. And to daily look to Christ's example in living my life.