Doubt

This is what I have been doing in the past few weeks of my life. I am a professional wedding guest.

This is only one of the pictures from the 3 weddings I have been to in the last month. Two of the weddings were in Kansas City. I had the pleasure of showing some of my Institute friends the beauty of KC. Asha's wedding was last weekend and it was a little Insty reunion. So blessed by this group of people.

After I returned from the wedding, I was exhausted. Oh did I mention I threw a shower for Kristen that weekend too? Anyway, I had a huge list of projects (18 in total) and I have been discouraged by fundraising. I haven't received anything in a week. I have 48% of my funds raised. But to clue you in, 48% of a lot of money is still a lot of money.

I walked to my mailbox last night, and I saw nothing there (little did I know that my precious suitemate had already grabbed my mail) and as I walked to my room I was admitting to the Lord that I had failed to trust Him, yet again (a lesson I learn far to often) and that I knew that this trip was in His hands. I was waiting on Him.

I walked into my room and saw the white envelope with the Dig Deep sticker on it. I immediately opened it and there was a check that singlehandedly moved my total from 48% to 69% (at this point I would like to add that the Lord was probably sitting on His throne, shaking His head at me and saying 'I knew this all along, I told you I would provide, oh you of little faith. Have I EVER failed you?').

Lesson (none of this is new): He provides in ways we never could imagine.

Lesson: He is faithful even when I am not.

It's Not About Me.

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, valuable, but small.

And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave?

So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?

I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void.

So goodnight, dear void."

-Kathleen Kelly, You've Got Mail

I have never claimed to have You've Got Mail as one of my favorites but I have noticed that any time me and the other interns are trying to decided what movie to watch, this choice always makes it into the pile. It's a great go-to movie. When I was in college, my friends and I would quote this movie back and forth to each other until we quoted most of the movie. I always connected with the main character Kathleen Kelley*. She feels as though her life is small but valuable.

As of late, I feel that my world is really small. I am working at the Institute surrounded by incredible people who love the Lord and I have my job at Gap but I am still learning/navigating establishing community here in Branson. I was doing my quiet time this morning I was reminded that my favorite Bible characters lead very small lives. Take Moses: he wasn't a leader, he had a speech problem and tried to get out of serving the Lord. Jacob: a ordinary father who played favorites with his sons. Rahab: a prostitute. Mary: a teenage girl in love.

And they only thing that gave them value was the things they were doing that effected eternity. My life should be small and valuable because I serve a God who is bigger than any thing. My value is found in the Lord.

I lead a small life, valuable but small. I serve a big God and in Him I find my value and bravery.

*My current roommate's name is Kathleen Kelley, although she goes by Kate.

Even more than I expected.

Mini kamp reunion!

Dee and I in front of the Bean at Millennium Park!

The Bean!

I went out of town for a long weekend with my director and her daughter to Chicago. It was great to get away for a few days, since I have been an 'working adult' for a month now.

I returned home and checked my mail. I had 6 support letter responses!

Totaling $425! Which roughly is 12% of my goal!

One donation was in cash form and anonymous.

So if you happened to be reading this post, thank you.

The Lord has blessed me so much! Going to Ethiopia and Uganda is a reality!